Any Film for Chunky? : The Young India

Santa Singh

Outside a cinema hall, when the audience had finished braving another terrible Hindi movie, I walked towards a water cooler and found a young man, clad in a plain white shirt and faded jeans, reading some lines aloud.

These were not ordinary lines. They sounded like typical Hindi film dialogues. I wondered if this man would go on to become an actor and subject us to more atrocities. I felt like smashing his head then and there.

He politely greeted me when I asked him his name.

Chunky wants to become a dashing Hindi film actor; preferably in the romantic and action genre. He wants to romance Katrina Kaif and “any actress who wants to get romanced by me.” He is very accommodating.

But Chunky knows that this is highly improbable in a world where actor Imran Khan spouts lines like, “This is a kidnapping,” and gets away with any harsh criticism. Chunky knows that he has better control over the Hindi language than most Hindi actors but doesn’t have an uncle like Aamir Khan to carry him through.

Chunky doesn’t have the face required for a Hindi actor. He feels that his face is too thin and that his chin could do with a facial surgery. He is also ashamed to tell people about his ambition. “What if they laugh at me?”

What about his name? “I will get it changed if I am asked.”

What name does he prefer? “Something that is attractive like Raj or Rahul.” I ask him if he would like to change his name to Santa. He grins and doesn’t respond.

Chunky’s father owns a small business and his mother and sister stay at home. They don’t have a car. Chunky has promised his mother a car once he becomes a star.

“It is very unlikely,” says Chunky.

“I have met other aspirants who are much better than me. If they are not better, then they have some contacts in the film industry. They will do better than me.”

So once again, we come to the Imran Khan-Aamir Khan connection.

“I have nothing against them. It’s a matter of fate. Let Imran prosper,” says Chunky who thinks that Imran lacked intensity and got away with his good looks.

Why am I so forceful towards Imran Khan and his film Kidnap? Well, it is replete with bad acing and bad performances. Its story and dialogues are unbelievably bad and hence funny. The kidnapped girl tells the kidnapper to let her take a bath in the ocean because there is shortage of water and she must take a bath. The kidnapper, Imran Khan, says, “Ok.” Such senselessness also prevents a fair chance to many actors like Chunky who rot under film posters.

“I will try for a few more months, and then I will look for another job.”

I wanted to tell him that there is nepotism everywhere. I didn’t. He probably knows it.