Wicked Krishna

on January 16, 2009

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Kartikey Sehgal

krishna caught

Caught!

[Fiction]

 

“Oh, you know him not!”

I said to my friend while walking along a peaceful country road. He is a patient of chronic back-ache and today was especially a troublesome day for him.

“Why is he blue? Because he is conscious of having brown skin like Indian men.”

My friend was aghast. He said that the colour blue was only symbolic and that nobody would bother if you drew him brown or black. He also urged me to come back to my senses.

“Krishna was non-monogamous. He could not stick to any one woman. Look at his erotic paintings and you will find that none of them have the same woman. He tortured Radha and ultimately was married off to another woman.”

My friend was silent. He said that there surely was deeper significance in this God’s actions since he is revered by Indians and even foreigners. He asked me to look at Indian philosophy from an Indian point-of-view.

“What significance? That person in my dream was correct about Krishna”

My friend interrupted me to ask me about the person but I continued talking.

“Krishna has always attempted to hide his devilish actions with innocence. Take for instance his habit of stealing butter as a child. If any young boy steals butter then his mother would punish him. Even Krishna’s mother punished him. But instead of condoning that action, we celebrate it and write songs about it.”

My friend was not impressed. He was now pressing his back as he walked.

“Look at other Gods, look at other religions. Do you find anybody as impure and vile as Krishna? Does he fit into the mould of any religious character you know? He doesn’t.

When people look at the image of Gods of other religions, they bow their head and mutter respectful words. But who would really want to give any respect to a thief and a promiscuous God? Tell me, can any woman pray to him? For all you know Krishna would be winking at her while she shut her eyes during prayer time. Would any other religion support such a God?”

My friend told me that ‘Hinduism’ is different from other religions and that I must be fair to the goodness in every religion. Every religion is unfair to women…

“In every other religion, women have a sense of modesty. They are not promiscuous. And the male Gods are humble but powerful. They don’t waste time chasing and seducing unsuspecting women. Krishna had lots of time in his hands; lots of time and very little clothes. And he was willing to take them off at every opportunity. You call this a God? An object of worship?”

I was reminded that Indian philosophy was liberal and unlike any other religion with respect to the attitude towards women and sexuality. I was also told that if I didn’t like Krishna then I could look at the life of other Gods.

“Why? Then do you accept that Krishna is very inferior to other Gods? If he is a God then you should accept everything about him, if you have he courage! You may have heard the tale about that famous singer-poetess who considered Krishna as her husband and refused to let her husband touch her after marriage. And she didn’t mind when her husband made love to other women. Isn’t this madness? Is this what Krishna inspires? 

And was this God of yours ever faithful to any woman? Did he ask them if they would permit him to sleep with other women? Or did he simply pick his filthy self from one hut and enter another?”

My friend was silent and morose.

“Bless that person in my dream who opened my eyes to such vanity and vileness. When other Gods were preaching religion and peace, your Krishna was grazing with goats and cows. Is there any philosophy in spending long hours with animals? But you Hindus are going to write a thousand songs for every hour he spent at the mountainside playing his flute or chasing a woman. Why didn’t your God preach religion to his village women instead of feeling them up? Why didn’t he teach them virtue instead of sex? Were the women any wiser after learning about the different sexual positions they could manage with your God? Why didn’t your God start something like a Sunday school for women instead of pouncing on them seven days a week? Or perhaps, as my dream-person told me, he was too illiterate for that.”

My friend was silent and didn’t look at me. We continued walking.

“Perhaps you are angry, my friend. But it is my duty to tell you the facts about your blue God. It is time that the modern world wakes up to the truth. I hate it when I see young Hindu children praying to a wasted person. They should rather spend their time worshipping Gods of other religions who are virtuous and moral. I would never leave my children, especially my girl, in the company of a despicable and depraved animal called Krishna”

At this my friend got agitated.

“And who told you all this nonsense about Krishna. Who was that person in your dream?”

I took out my handkerchief and dabbed it to my forehead. Since it was winter, there was no need for me to do that. I was dry and comfortable. I carefully folded the handkerchief and placed it in the pocket of my trousers.

Then I smiled and spoke.
“It was Krishna himself”

 

Epilogue

We are bound by the force of Indian philosophy and free to question, debate and make fun. My friend and I shall again go for walks when his health improves and when I promise to not fool him again.

We shall sit at a garden and talk some more about Krishna. And girls. 

 

Image taken from here

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