Aman Ki Asha, Naya Tamasha

on January 13, 2010

Kartikey Sehgal

Aman Ki Asha (AKA) is the new romantic buzzword between India and Pakistan formulated by mostly those people who have not suffered terrorist attacks and have their family and limbs intact. The movement, historic, has been celebrated by a 20 hour gun salute in Srinagar with instructions on laying the table and selecting the dishes coming directly from Pakistan.

According to this new peace movement, artists from India and Pakistan will get together and sing songs that were hitherto unreleased because they found no sponsors. It is expected that the sales of these songs will increase after this movement. According to sources—most of them belonging to one large media conglomerate—this movement can also bring out the next Nobel Prize winner for peace. “Both parties have packed the best sweets for one another”, said a peacewalla and added that “I look forward to having peace-tachio; ha ha”.

When asked by a journalist to explain the significance of AKA, another peacewalla announced that “it was to build people to people contact; economic, cultural, social and all of them with the aim to stop fighting and increase loving”. He was reminded that regular people of both countries were not, in any case, fighting one another and that the movement should have concentrated on politicians and military generals who were actually fighting. The peacewalla blamed the media for being political minded. “Ignore the ones who fire bullets and do dirty things. Look at the bright side of things. Kashmiri pulao, anyone?”

The Indian peace delegation was reminded that the people who carried out the Mumbai attacks were roaming the streets or claiming to be actors and that the wife of a slain police officer was wondering if her sweater was more potent than the bullet-proof jackets. The movement, if any, should have been to increase national security and promise the father of Captain Saurabh Kalia that we’d not chum up to any talks of peace until his case is solved, if it can be, considering that his son’s dead body “came back punctured with cigarette burns, chopped limbs, mutilated organs, ears pierced with hot rods and eyes gouged out”.

But Indian peace and social activists chomskied the journalists with “India invaded Kashmir” and stated that “this is the problem with India. We must look at the future and forget the past. The past is done and the future is happening. History must happen and all that”. A politician of a major party said that “the families of those killed due to terrorism must come along with us and embrace the other side and cry on their shoulder and say, “yeh kya ho gaya. yeh kya ho gaya. Vehshet gardon ne hamara sab kuch cheen liya. Par koi baat nahin, aayie sher-o-shayari karte hain”.

(Oh what has happened, what has happened! Terrorists have taken way everything from us. But no problem, let’s discuss poetry)

When the brother of a slain jawan expressed displeasure anger over the movement and the politician’s words and said that the nation that starts such movements has no shame and that after a point of time it is legitimate to kill those who kill you, he was asked to take a breath and then ticked off for “communal tendencies”.

Meanwhile, the Army was ticked off for killing a suspected militant who didn’t actually kill but just had a gun. “The Army should realise that these people have families”, a nail sharpening activist cried.

It is expected that while the AKA group cavorts across borders, the Indian Army will lose more jawans to cross-border firing. But that’s okay because for them there will be another peace movement.

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