Kartikey Sehgal

[Modern Society.]

Outside the bathroom, Mother 1 knocks

Mother: Son, I want you to come out, now!

Son 1: Yes mom, just after I take this bath.

Mother 1: Good.

In the Living Room

Son 1: Here Mom, I have come out. What is it.

Mother 1: No son. I want you to come out.

Son 1: I am out now mom.

Mother 1 : No son. Come out. Come out. To come out… tell me that you are gay.

Son 1: (surprised) Why should I tell you I am gay?

Mother 1: (Smiles) Because you are.

Son 1: No Mom, I am not gay!

Mother 1: Don’t lie to your loving mother. Tell me, did you ‘love’ Brokeback Mountain? Is Chris ‘Gay’le your favourite cricketer?

Son 1: Yeah Brokeback was a good film and Chris Gayle smacks ‘em very well…

Mother 1: (smiles) aha…!

Son 1: But that doesn’t mean I am gay. I like Angelina Jolie as much as fath… the next guy does.

Mother 1: (pauses, anxious) You are breaking my heart. Do you at least have some other perversions. Do you peep into bathrooms, or do you have love for feet. Here…

(mother raises and wriggles her toes) … is this turning you on?
(son looks on… bewildered) Please my son!

Scene 2

Mother 1 on phone with another mother.

Mother 2: Mrs. S___’s son is a transvestite and Mrs. R__’s likes to wear bangles and saris.

Mother 1: Wow, Mrs. R managed it?

Mother 2: Every time her son wore a bangle and some lipstick, she served him his favourite shami kebabs. And Mrs. J________’s son is a shemale.

Mother 1: What is that?

Mother 2: I don’t know for sure. Something like a man who wants to be a woman but then discovers he has a penis and cries a lot.

Mother 1: That is dramatic. I love it!

Mother 2: She even practiced the discovery scene with her son. She sent me a copy. “As I was walking smilingly to my son’s room feeling happy that the bindi and the sari were of perfect combination and wondering who else can be prettier than me, I opened the room to find the shock of my life… my son … the apple of my eye… he had worn a blouse and smeared makeup on his face. And he was wearing no trousers. He was looking angrily at his … ahem … like he was going to break it into pieces…

I then ran to him and stopped him. No son no. No matter who you are and what you wear and what you have… I will always love you. I will take on the world for you.”

Mother 1: I love that last line. I’ll do something similar with my son. Perhaps change the setting to the bathroom… ‘As I stood outside the bathroom, I heard him mutter… David… David…’

Mother 2: Sounds good. How did you manage to convince your son. He is tough to crack.

Mother 1: I fought hard to convince my son he is gay. He stood there while I kept wriggling my toes. Then I threw photos of naked men on him that I had collected since college. When one my old fat teacher’s photo hit him, he collapsed. When he got up, he said that he is gay.

Mother 2: I am so happy for you. I have to go now. My zoo-sexual son is giving lizard the stare. On to stage 2.

Mother 1: On to stage 2!

Scene 3

On Phone. Mother and Junior Journalist from a newspaper.

Junior Journalist: I am sorry. Ma’am is very busy. She is working on sexual assault of women. If I disturb her, she will rape me.

Mother 1: Tell her I have a life changing story for her…

Junior Journalist: Nothing can be more important for her at this stage. Her own boyfriend is waiting at the reception and he looks very good.

Mother 1: Revolution.

(Pause)

JJ: (Breathing heavily) Say that again?

Mother 1: You heard that right. We are talking about revolution… female empowerment…

JJ: (Breathing very heavily)

Mother 1: Feminism, PINK

JJ: That’s it, that’s it, stop!

Scene 4

At the newspaper office with the senior journalist who is very happy. Mrs. R is there with her son who has worn a pink bangle and covered his head with a dupatta. He is very shy. Mother 1 is present with her gay son.

Senior Journalist (SJ): (To Mrs. R’s son) Do you want anything?

Mrs. R: Oh No. You should not have asked that. Wrong question. But you can give him your nose ring. Goes well with his ankle-ring.

Mother 1: Do you have any male photos for my son? I don’t want him to be feeling odd among us. I don’t want him gawking at your male journalists. I love him. I love my son…

SJ: Sure… will David Hasselhoff do?

Mother 1: Awww… you have got him all blushed up. So cute… he prefers men who are unpredictable, who, when they stand before you could immediately stand over you in no time. Who care little for public’s sense of morality and only just lick their lips as form of foreplay.

SJ: Shakti Kapoor it is then.

(Mother 2 arrives with her son)

Mrs. R: Where were you. Took so long!

Mother 2: I had such trouble bringing my son in the taxi. So many animals on the streets. He was getting all hot and bothered. You know na he is zoo-sexual.

SJ: Wow!

Mother 2: I know. That’s why I had to put this collar and leash stuff on him. It’s not a good sight to see your son chasing a cow na?

Mother 1: Very good. Very appropriate.

Mother 2: I got my friend and her son along with me. Her son is asexual.

Mrs. R: A sexual what?

(Mother 3 comes with her son and sits)

Mother 3: Asexual. He is not attracted to women or men or even animals. Nothing. Nobody.

Mother 2: Not even to ants?

Mother 3: no. Tch. Zero. Nothing. He just likes to wear these loose fitting and baggy clothes. And he loves your stories.

SJ: Really!

Mother 3: Reads all of them. That’s the only thing that gives him happiness, you can say a small turn-on.

SJ: Wow. I feel so happy.

Mother 3: He has made a scrap-book of all your stories about rape and assault. Nobody does it like you.

SJ: You are welcome. And why don’t you sit Mother 2?

Mother 2: There is a problem. I hope there are no insects in your office. Not even a fly… wait what are you wearing?

SJ: Oh this T-Shirt is… oh my God!

Mother 2: That’s a crab printed on your top. Take it off quick. Now. Before he goes wild. Then even the leash can’t control him.

SJ: But how can I… give me time.

Mother 2: There is no time. There are only women here…

Mother 1: My son is gay.

Mother 3: Mine is asexual.

(pause)

SJ: Okay then.

(SJ removes her top)

Mother 3: Son, do you feel anything? Tch. Nothing.

SJ: Why are the sons gaping at me?

Mother 1: Oh. The pressures of wanting to be normal. Just so that society accepts them as their own. They will fail eventually.

SJ: This feels weird. But nothing in front of how you women feel. You are the torchbearers of our new society. You live with what society calls a flaw, but make it you asset. Yes Sir! Your sons are your assets!

(Mothers 1,2,3 join hands)

SJ: (on phone) call the photographer now.

(Photographer comes in)

SJ: Why are you sweating and shaking?

Photographer: Ma’am you are not wearing your top.

SJ: Are you trying to victimise me? Are you seeing me as easy? Do you think my breasts can cause society’s downfall?

Photographer: No ma’am. In fact your vision and work and concern for journalism, all is very uplifting.

SJ: Good. Then take them for the planned photo-shoot. I want Mother 1 and her gay son cheek to cheek, the mother smiling, the son a little lost. In the background put some flowers.
Mother 2 will hold her zoo-sexual son by his shoulders as he stares at a street dog passing by. Pain and longing in the boy’s eyes. Mother’s grip should be firm.
For Mother 3, I want her son to be surrounded by a pretty looking girl and a hunk type man. The son will just stand there with a shrug. His mother’s hand will by on his head. Like … no matter what I am always there for you types. Understood?

Photographer: Totally ma’am. And I love your necklace.

SJ: Thanks. And ask the design desk to keep this as the major story. With the headline as something like God of Small Things… something that appears small but is very big. Do you see the point?

Photographer: Totally ma’am. Big packages appearing small because they are hidden by society’s cloak. But very big in reality.

SJ: Yyyy…es. Very good. And tell my boyfriend he can now come inside.

Scene 5

Mother 3 walks away with her son from the photo-shoot.

Mother 3: Wow. This was more than expected. imagine, all you wanted was to see her face … and you got quite an eyeful.

Son: You are awesome mom!

Mother 3: I didn’t do anything! that was unexpected. These women asked me if you are perverted or of you could generate some sexual disorder for the media. They told me the journalist’s name and I got the idea to make you meet her and ogle at her. But now you have to put up with your part of the deal.

Son: Sure!

Mother 3: No video games internet and junk food. And you will go out and play.

Son: Totally ma’am.

Mother 3: And stay away from women like these and their poor sons.

Son: Let’s do this again mom! I could be a necrophiliac!!

Scene 6

Mother 1: (Desperate) Is my son’s gayness coming through in the camera. Do you want him crushing a flower?

Photographer: No ma’am. It’s all right. Please wipe away those tears and don’t keep your hand on your heart.

Mother 2: Do you think it would be good to have a cat or rabbit instead of that dog? He doesn’t look too suitable for my son.

Photographer: No ma’am. Best pedigree. Bites really hard. If only you could stop posing and smiling every time the camera looks at you. It’s disturbing, ma’am.

Finishes

Kartikey Sehgal

• Suppose that a man is unfaithful to his wife but stays on for the sake of their child.
• When he is caught cheating, would we say that his action has compromised the future of the child.
• Would he be considered inconsiderate to his child.
• Does the fault lie in his cheating or in not divorcing his wife before cheating.

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Why do you cry, father?

Because I am bound and yet I seek our bondage. I cry because there is dew on green grass. Because birds build nests. Because it shall be morning again. Because I can walk. Because I know not the way out of suffering.

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I say, fame is a compromise. It would take a man, who knows to be a man, to be a man with fame, of fame. Else fame takes away liberties.
Fame is a compromise. You are crowned and the society takes away from you.

Society knows fame, what does it know of merit? The uncrowned hut-man pens the poem for the street-smart kid, and the society demands morals from the kid. The hut-man drinks in glory.

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When there is nobody, the grass breathes, the trees sway and the wind moves. You are important in the morning.