Nimesh Advani

[The writer describes his friend's suffering at his job; his talents are ridiculed and his youth is held against him]

 My friend Sid at his job

Mr. Gupta threw the file, smirked and promptly indulged in digging his nose. Then he started rambling about how competitive the world is and how people are treated in the film industry and how experienced he is and how Sid needs to follow him. Sid didn’t say much after this outburst. This had become a routine. Come to office and get fired.

It’s not that Sid is not efficient. Mr. Gupta has the habit to vent out his frustration regularly; sometimes every twenty minutes. What made Gupta behave irresponsibly? Sid often wondered if his wife beat him at home. But having a woman must be an achievement for Gupta. Misogynist.

Sid had thought that his dreams of becoming a movie director would be realized soon when he started working in a popular production house. However, when Gupta replaced his first boss, Sid found himself busy with tasks like buying samosas in the evening and contacting air-conditioner repairing service centres.

According to Gupta, people have to face flak and “take shit” in the early part of their career and he wanted Sid to join the bandwagon …

My Take

I hate such intentions and ideas (Gupta’s) … I asked Sid to leave the place but the pressure of economic recession and a nagging father were enough to over-power my advice.

I wonder why people behave like Gupta. Is he rude to others just because he has been dealt with in a similar manner?

Let me analyze a bit. Just because Gupta was treated cruelly, it means he will treat everyone who is junior to him, very cruelly.

We do not like it if someone is living comfortably because when we were in their position, we were treated badly…This sounds absurd to me. Why can’t we encourage a newcomer …?

If people were not encouraged during their youth, then should they discourage newcomers or simply avoid the mistake? It is against the ego to let somebody younger do better than them.

The mindset: “We were not given an opportunity at that point of time so why should these guys start early…why don’t they suffer like us?”

We have heard so much about healthy competition but the competition is anything but healthy. The moment somebody gets ahead of us, instead of us trying to overtake them with our own capabilities we try to pull them back.

Instead of thinking how we can get better we start thinking how the other person can get worse.

Can a newcomer start his career with the hope of being treated with dignity? Will this vicious 360 circle of life ever come to an end for him?

Caught!

[Fiction]

“Oh, you know him not!”

I said to my friend while walking along a peaceful country road. He is a patient of chronic back-ache and today was especially a troublesome day for him.

“Why is he blue? Because he is conscious of having brown skin like Indian men.”

My friend was aghast. He said that the colour blue was only symbolic and that nobody would bother if you drew him brown or black. He also urged me to come back to my senses.

“Krishna was non-monogamous. He could not stick to any one woman. Look at his erotic paintings and you will find that none of them have the same woman. He tortured Radha and ultimately was married off to another woman.”

My friend was silent. He said that there surely was deeper significance in this God’s actions since he is revered by Indians and even foreigners. He asked me to look at Indian philosophy from an Indian point-of-view.

“What significance? That person in my dream was correct about Krishna”

My friend interrupted me to ask me about the person but I continued talking.

“Krishna has always attempted to hide his devilish actions with innocence. Take for instance his habit of stealing butter as a child. If any young boy steals butter then his mother would punish him. Even Krishna’s mother punished him. But instead of condoning that action, we celebrate it and write songs about it.”

My friend was not impressed. He was now pressing his back as he walked.

“Look at other Gods, look at other religions. Do you find anybody as impure and vile as Krishna? Does he fit into the mould of any religious character you know? He doesn’t.

When people look at the image of Gods of other religions, they bow their head and mutter respectful words. But who would really want to give any respect to a thief and a promiscuous God? Tell me, can any woman pray to him? For all you know Krishna would be winking at her while she shut her eyes during prayer time. Would any other religion support such a God?”

My friend told me that ‘Hinduism’ is different from other religions and that I must be fair to the goodness in every religion. Every religion is unfair to women…

“In every other religion, women have a sense of modesty. They are not promiscuous. And the male Gods are humble but powerful. They don’t waste time chasing and seducing unsuspecting women. Krishna had lots of time in his hands; lots of time and very little clothes. And he was willing to take them off at every opportunity. You call this a God? An object of worship?”

I was reminded that Indian philosophy was liberal and unlike any other religion with respect to the attitude towards women and sexuality. I was also told that if I didn’t like Krishna then I could look at the life of other Gods.

“Why? Then do you accept that Krishna is very inferior to other Gods? If he is a God then you should accept everything about him, if you have he courage! You may have heard the tale about that famous singer-poetess who considered Krishna as her husband and refused to let her husband touch her after marriage. And she didn’t mind when her husband made love to other women. Isn’t this madness? Is this what Krishna inspires? 

And was this God of yours ever faithful to any woman? Did he ask them if they would permit him to sleep with other women? Or did he simply pick his filthy self from one hut and enter another?”

My friend was silent and morose.

“Bless that person in my dream who opened my eyes to such vanity and vileness. When other Gods were preaching religion and peace, your Krishna was grazing with goats and cows. Is there any philosophy in spending long hours with animals? But you Hindus are going to write a thousand songs for every hour he spent at the mountainside playing his flute or chasing a woman. Why didn’t your God preach religion to his village women instead of feeling them up? Why didn’t he teach them virtue instead of sex? Were the women any wiser after learning about the different sexual positions they could manage with your God? Why didn’t your God start something like a Sunday school for women instead of pouncing on them seven days a week? Or perhaps, as my dream-person told me, he was too illiterate for that.”

My friend was silent and didn’t look at me. We continued walking.

“Perhaps you are angry, my friend. But it is my duty to tell you the facts about your blue God. It is time that the modern world wakes up to the truth. I hate it when I see young Hindu children praying to a wasted person. They should rather spend their time worshipping Gods of other religions who are virtuous and moral. I would never leave my children, especially my girl, in the company of a despicable and depraved animal called Krishna”

At this my friend got agitated.

“And who told you all this nonsense about Krishna. Who was that person in your dream?”

I took out my handkerchief and dabbed it to my forehead. Since it was winter, there was no need for me to do that. I was dry and comfortable. I carefully folded the handkerchief and placed it in the pocket of my trousers.

Then I smiled and spoke.
“It was Krishna himself”

Epilogue

We are bound by the force of Indian philosophy and free to question, debate and make fun. My friend and I shall again go for walks when his health improves and when I promise to not fool him again.

We shall sit at a garden and talk some more about Krishna. And girls. 

Image taken from here

Santa Singh

Illustration: Kartikey Sehgal

Diwali is time for shy men to become brave hearts. My two friends decided to be generous and give a box of sweets to a girl.

About these two boys: They seldom talk to anybody. One of them is bespectacled and doesn’t tuck his shirt inside his trousers unless there is a formal function. He walks timidly, miles away from girls. The other one is a devotee of his friend. He is tall and lanky and very supportive of all forms of cowardice.

Our bespectacled man, let’s call him B, wanted to wish ‘Happy Diwali’ to the girl. It was an act of immense courage that required immaculate planning. My help was sought and I told him to knock on the door and ask for her. Then give her a small box of sweets and wish her. But B was worried that if the girl’s mother opened the door, then B would be in trouble. B would never have the courage to ask the mother for the girl. He would keep standing until the mother slammed the door on him.

B’s lanky friend suggested that they throw the box through the window. B refused the idea stating that the girl could get injured and curse the boys. The friend suggested that they don’t mention B’s name in the greeting card attached to the box. But then she would never know that B bought it for her.

B told me his desire; he wanted to give the gift but not make it look like he was actually giving the gift. He wanted to appear very casual and natural, like he was just passing by and decided to give sweets to the girl since she saw him. Many plans were discussed but none had the spark B wanted.

Frustration took over. I told B not to go ahead with this idea because it could cause great trouble. He did not listen to me but listened to his libido and asked one of the local cracker-loving boys to help him out. The plan was set.

The local boy, clad in brown shorts and a half-sleeved shirt, crept alongside the floor railing and towards the door. He placed some crackers near the door. Red crackers; they make lot of noise. According to the plan, the boy would burst the crackers and then run. B would be standing at some distance. The girl or somebody would open the door and the boy, fed on 50 Rs, would run away. The girl would then see B who will promptly point towards the running boy. She would see the box of sweets in his hand and surely ask him to come inside. But B would just give the box of sweets to her and immediately leave.

The boy lit one cracker and ran without waiting for it to burst. He dashed across B and across the lanky friend and I; we were standing near the elevator. We could see B standing and scared. The boy had done his job but the crackers won’t burst. The door opened and the girl saw B standing. She waved out and said hello. B didn’t respond. She asked him if he was fine. B didn’t respond. As soon as the girl stepped out, the crackers started bursting. She screamed and ran inside her home. B was too scared to move. A minute later the girl opened the door and glared at B.

“Why didn’t you tell me there were crackers?”

After she slammed the door on him, B walked towards us, dejected and hurt.