Santa Singh

Everybody seems to be lampooning the once-in-a-lifetime masterpiece called Love Story 2050. Poor Harman baba, what crimes has he done? He is so original and does not look like another muscular hero at all. And the songs are so good and refreshing. That robot does not look like a transgender operation gone wrong.

I will now prove it to you. This song from the film is the highlight of our lives. God or papa Baweja alone know how much money must have been spent in making this song. But it is a masterpiece and has the youth janta on its toes and feet.

This is how the song reads.

_____________________________________

H is Harman, P is Priyanka

H- As u say sunshine..

P- sunshine? Kahan se dhund kar late ho tum yeh pracheen words?

(sunshine, from where do you discover such ancient words?)
H- Umm jahan se main aaya,

(Umm…from where I come)
P- Oh, to aap yahan kya lene aaye hai?

(Oh, so what have you come here to take?)
H- Pyaar!..

(Love!…)

P- Just a tip..hamari duniya mein, pyaar wyaar nahi hota

to shayad aapko khaali haath jaana pade, you know..

P…Just a tip..there is no love-shove in my world, so you may have to go empty handed, you know…)

________________________________________

By now it seems that there is no daylight in this film

set in the year 2050. The world is a neon-light galore.

Ram Gopal Varma will be happy. No sunlight matlab happy Ramu.

Then it starts,

________________________________________

Whether you meet me or not, I will come and meet you (ahem..I have nothing else to do)

Whether you talk or not,

Whether you talk or not, I will keep on talking (Behold! I am the hero and this is my film)

Whether you listen or not, whether you listen or not, I will make you listen

(because I am a chauvinistic pig or the lyricist lost out on words)

My heart says what….

________________________________________

The paragraph above is repeated twice so that you can puke and not miss out on anything. You could also go for a quick loo break and actually collapse there and wake up 2 hours later with a mass of unconscious men or women. I am sure you wouldn’t have missed anything even then.

Robot just saw Love Story 2050

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Kartikey Sehgal

The promotional song of Love Story 2050. The hero says something in English to sound very modern and ‘cool’. Then he starts dancing with malnourished people who are the film’s ‘extras’. He moves his neck, his torso and his back to prove that he is not afflicted with polio.

All this while, Priyanka Chopra, looks at him and smiles. She is not doing much else and to compensate for that, she has been given a red wig. The movie is called Love Story 2050. Apparently, in 2050, girls will look like mannequins and wear the weirdest of costumes. A good reason to marry now.

Later in the film, the hero dances with some robots. He mixes well with them. The robots are brilliant and they almost match up to the expression of the hero. Surely, the ‘extras’ are going to have a hard time in 2050.
Priyanka Chopra smiles again. Her teeth are white and that is good news for future aestheticism.

In the last shot of the film, it is easy to notice the hero’s hair. Very unreal hair that has seen all brands of cosmetics. It is crisp and brown and despite the heavy duty dancing, it has not left its place.

Really now, what’s so new about the film? The hero is made to look and dance and flex like another popular hero. The song is strictly average. The dance is an imitation of a hundred other dances. What about the acting? What about cinema? Does this compel any movie lover to go to the theatres? People will see it only out of boredom in their regular lives.

Come now, author! There is a reason you have not used the word ‘actor’ anywhere in this story.

–**–

Note: Robots in Japan are working in hospitals. They also have dancing Robots that are imitating traditional Japanese dances (image left).

In the Hindi Film Industry, they will train as dancers(image right). I hope they run away with some heroine and make better films.

Images taken from:

buzz18

Popgadget (a good read)

Guardian (a good read)

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