Kartikey Sehgal

A conversation on the decision to die.
C and J.

“Want to inform you that I’ll commit suicide”, said C.
“Commit suicide…hmmm…” J muttered to himself, bit his upper lip and then relaxed.

A moment later, C put himself in the chair. Their black coats were the only colour in vicinity.

“Ok, let’s get over it. Reasons”
“Reason. My will has been amputated. I am not my person”, said C.

“So you know the reason. Extend your will now”
“It’s too late. I have realized it.”

“And so you must live. Had you not realized yourself… that…”
C smiled. “Had I”, he stated, “not realized it I would have lived on, unaware, but now I have the sense of being and I exercise a decision”.

J bit his upper lip.
“Yes. Since you know that you were subdued, you can kill yourself. Otherwise you would have lived.”

“Any more?”
“Yes. You have awakened. So live now, live your way”.

“I don’t know how to”.
“I could teach you”.

“Ok. In that case I may reconsider. Of course, I know that you can’t teach me. That’s not the actual word”.

“We know that”.

“And I trust that you don’t want me to not die but you want me to live”.
“Don’t ask”, said J.

“Alright. Come over for lunch. Spend a day with me”.
“Sure, I’ll phone you my schedule. I am pro life.”

“So am I, J”.